Sex. That’s right, I just said it – the ‘s’ word! Perhaps it’s something that you don’t talk about, or perhaps it’s just a word that makes you giggle! Or maybe it’s something you’re intrigued by but don’t really want to ask about or even know who to ask about it– talking to your parents would be way too cringe, and asking teachers would be out of the question!
“Why is she writing this week’s email on sex?” you might ask. Well, I think it’s a really important subject which often gets swept under the carpet– we can all be a bit embarrassed and British when it comes to these things! But it’s something that is everywhere in our culture and if we aren’t hearing the message from church or youth leaders, then we certainly are from movies, music and our peers.
Why is sex worth talking about? Because it is one of the pinnacles of God’s creation, it was designed to bring two people together in the closest form of intimacy we can experience and be a glimpse into the joy and pleasure that we will have in heaven one day.
And it is a good thing! If you have a sex drive, or you are starting to be interested in guys, then thank God- it’s from Him! And it’s meant to be used in the very best context – in a committed marriage between two people.
Many of you might agree and think that sex is a really good thing and want to keep it for marriage one day. However, many of you might have questions over other types of intimacy- “how far is too far and what about all the other things that aren’t specifically sex?”
You might hear people say things like, “it’s no big deal, it’s good to experiment and guys like it so why not?”
Well, I want to tell you two truths:
1. God has pleasant boundaries for your lives
"The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."
Boundary lines are like the lines on a tennis court (I’m in Wimbledon mode!) – they help us to decide what’s in or out OR what brings freedom and what brings shame.
God has got boundary lines in pleasant places for us – for our flourishing, our wellbeing and for fullness of life. His boundary lines bring us true freedom– He isn’t trying to spoil our fun! Sexual intimacy in all its forms is for within the boundaries of marriage and anything outside of that is going to cause hurt, shame and hinder intimacy in future relationships.
2. God’s intentions towards your life are ALWAYS GOOD.
“All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful towards those who keep the demands of his convenant.”
It is impossible to trust someone’s if we don’t trust their motives. God’s intentions towards you are always loving and He has your best interests in mind. So trust Him with this area and ask Him to show you what is pleasing to Him and what His boundary lines are for your life.
Some good questions to ask yourself this summer are:
“Does this relationship honour God and my future husband one day?”
“Is this a premature intimacy which is meant for marriage?”
“Am I doing this to affirm my own value or keep someone interested in me?”
God wants us to be the freest people on earth! To be free from shame, embarrassment and past sexual experiences. He wants us to live in our identity that comes entirely from Him, and not how experienced you are or how many guys you’ve attracted.
I pray that this summer you would know that there is true freedom within pleasant boundaries for your lives and in the area of sex.
If you have any more questions about this topic I would be really happy to try and answer them. I would also love to direct you towards a website called Moral Revolution which has some excellent blog articles on this. It comes with a high recommendation!!